When I was younger, I had a subconscious fear of asserting my(true)self, and of forward momentum in my life.

Therefore, I bought into beliefs and concepts that sounded true and felt good but I was really avoiding the pain of disapointment, potential failure, and criticism if I 'failed'.

So these were some of the stuff I bought into:

"I am where I am meant to be."
"It's all in Divine timing."
"Everything is meant to be."
"I am happy where I am."
"I am grateful for what I have."
"Loving what is." (Byron Kati has a book with that title by the way).

All these things ARE true and good. However, they can be used as an unconscious excuse for complacency and avoidance. I struggled with this for years. As a result, I did many acts of self-sabotage and got into conflicts in my relationships.

Then I met a mentor who taught me UZAZU, a mind-body movement modality that is about embodying opposites. I took a workshop with Dylan Newcomb, its founder. Uzazu involves a set of 16 pairs of movements, breath and primal sounds that embody 16 pairs of opposites such as:

1. Being with What Is AND Going After your Goals.
2. Openness AND Clear Boundaries.
3. "You Matter" AND "The MAGNITUDE of your Insignificance is Unfathomable"
4. "Listen to Feedback" AND "Listen to your own Vision".
5. "You're not doing enough" AND "You've done MORE than enough and your contribution is EXTRAORDINARY".

6. “The Future is Uncertain” AND “Have a Clear Big Vision”
7. Patience AND Urgency

8. Peace AND Passion

9. Rest AND Work

(And so much more!).

NUMBER 1 was my biggest struggle at the time. I noticed that as I was doing the movements, I really struggled with doing the movement for going after my goals but not with the movement for being with what IS.

Dylan, with his intuitive sense, sensed that it had something to do with familial ties. So he took me through a visualization process that helped me set me free from any energetic tangles with my dad's energies.

After that, doing the movement for going after my goals became easier. And over the years, easier and easier.

Now, recently, I've noticed that I've gone the other way: I don't have a fear of moving forward but I noticed myself having a disdain for "being with what is" because I saw it as "complacency". Once again, I was taking a side. So I started making a change, shifting back into being able to hold both energies simultaneously in my body, embracing it all, loving it all...

I'm so grateful for all my mentors who helped get me here.

The morale of this story is:

Love ALL of you!

Where do you struggle to love yourself? Out of the list above, which pair of opposites is most difficult for you?


Let's get on a Discovery Call to help you clarify this and create a breakthrough around where you're not loving yourself so that you can experience a deeper clearer fulfillment inside yourself

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